i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
