I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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