Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
