Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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