I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
