Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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