he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
