So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
