mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
