At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I understand Curling. That high.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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