I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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