im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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