girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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