How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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