Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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