I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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