This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it's like heaven, but drunker
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
