i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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