Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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