the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
