Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
