New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize