You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
