In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
