no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
