Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize