It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Watching her eat just hurts me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
