I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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