Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
