I have demons in me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I party with great urgency now.
the raccoons are back...
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