Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
