WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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