One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
