That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
