i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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