she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
