he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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