just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
