So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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