Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
