I love black thongs
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize