Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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