i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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