Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
