I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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