he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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