i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
