he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
