I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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