Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
