Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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