Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
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I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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