every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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