So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
