we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
