youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
