That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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