we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
