i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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