You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
