Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
