Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize