this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
