How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
