Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
